Artwork
by Rockhandjive
Summary: One night Harry begins a painting with rather unorthodox tools. SSHP


_A semi-circle in red._

One for every time he was told, 'No.'

Dudley got a bike for his fifth birthday. Harry wanted a ride. Vernon said, 'No,' and threw him in a broom closet. Harry didn't come out for a week, he didn't want another broom chucked at him.

When he wanted to go to Hogwarts, Petunia said, 'Absolutely not,' then Hagrid nearly killed them.

_A line in pink_

Two for each time someone glared at him. One line for each eye that glared.

Snape glared at him the first time he came to Hogwarts. Harry hadn't done anything to the hook-nosed greasy maggot man but his eyes still made Harry's heart stop beating. Snape hit him without laying a finger on his back.

When Harry was made a Seeker, Draco Malfoy's eyes narrowed until icy blueness was all that could be seen. Later Harry caught up with him and kicked him. Draco never told anyone and Harry never mentioned it to Ron.

A chess piece glared at him when he was playing with Ron before Christmas. Harry told it to move two paces ahead. It didn't want to. Harry burned the piece and told Seamus Mrs. Norris ate it.

_Some dots in shadow, nothing darker._

One for every time someone controlled Harry.

Lucius controlled him through a piece of paper that wasn't supposed to belong to Harry. That diary was Ginny's personal Lord Voldemort. It made her do things and it made Harry believe things. It turned the whole school against him and everyone would beat on Harry when the teachers weren't looking. Even Neville.

Remus made him learn the Patronus spell when he was too young. Harry didn't want to, he kicked and he screamed but Remus made him. Every night Harry had a migraine from reciting _Expecto patronum!_ over and over and over again.

Sirius forced Harry into the Shrieking Shack after Ron. He wouldn't have gone but Hermione was there, whinging her distress in his ear. Sirius kept looking him up and down with a predator's glint to his eyes. In the tunnel back, Sirius squeezed his arse and told Harry to come and live with him. Harry agreed and hoped Sirius was never free.

Moody made Harry compete in the Triwizard Tournament. He told Harry he was putting his name in as a fourth school and Harry had to pretend like he didn't know what was going on.. Harry told him no but the professor didn't listen. He threatened Harry with the truth about how his father raped his mother. Harry learned to act.

_A dash in a darker red._

Five dashes for every time Harry was lied to.

Sirius told him he was Harry's godfather. Then why did Harry have his chin? In a book he found at Grimmauld place, it said James Potter died when he was fourteen in 1962. If James were Harry's father, he would have been two years old then.

Kreacher told Harry Sirius was out when he stuck his head through the fire grate. Harry yelled and swore and cursed the house elf but he still told him the same thing. Sirius died that night.

Ron and Hermione swore they weren't an item. They looked worried when they denied it and despite Harry's claims he could smell Hermione's perfume on Ron's bed clothes, they held fast in their responses. A week later, Ron proposed to his girlfriend of two years.

Pomfrey said he could play again. Brooms and competitive men just couldn't be trusted with wands and severing charms. It didn't matter, Harry didn't have a right hand anymore, there was no way he could catch a Snitch properly.

Snape had said he wanted to help Harry catch up with Potions after the war and Harry's third time as a seventh year. He had led Harry into his office but they hadn't brewed for long. The potion had burned by the time Harry roused himself from the pale sheets and the mahogany four-poster. He had been covered in the remnants of another man's pleasure and he was sticky and itched everywhere. At least Severus never tried to pretend they were studying again.

_Just one more shape, please_.

Severus took Harry's hand and pried the knife out of it, against his lover's furious tears.

'_No_,' Harry cried, salt mixing with his newly-made wounds and stinging.

Severus said nothing, holding Harry close to him instead while the other beat his fists against the ex-Potions Master's back. They sat like that for ages, the mahogany bed patiently supporting them.

When Harry's breath quieted, Severus lifted him off the dark comforter and carried him to the washroom. He sat Harry on the toilet and patiently began to bandage the lines and circles and dashes and dots Harry had carved into himself. Covering old scars with white gauze as Severus tried, desperately to erase his lover's past.


End file.
